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+====== Changing Breeds Part XIV: Deerhoof Antlerdude's Shameful Secret ======
+I have been dreading this part since I started writing this.
+Now, I'm just going to post the entirety of the opening fiction for you. See if you can spot what made me actually feel physical pain.
+> Who Can Tame the Wind?\\  \\  "His leg is shattered beyond repair," Marcannon told the attending veterinarian. "I brought him home, but you need to put him down. He’s no good to himself or to me."\\  \\  Dr. Steed looked down at the injured horse, its flanks heaving in pain, then at the stable owner. "I think I can save him," she said, her voice steady though her eyes misted over.\\  \\  Marcannon shook his head. "It would cost more than he’s worth. Now do what I'm paying you for."\\  \\  Epona Steed rose to her full height, facing a man whose judgment she had occasion to question more than once. "No," she said. Before the stable owner’s eyes, the slim animal doctor grew taller and bulkier, sprouting a second pair of legs along a lengthening backbone.\\  \\  Marcannon's eyes widened in fear. A creature out of myth stood before him. "My friends are coming to take him off your hands," she said, using her physical bulk to back the cowering man into a corner of the stall. She reared up on her hind legs and tapped the man with a hoof, sending him down to the ground in a groaning heap. "I’ll bill you for the cost of his death," she said. "Now he belongs to me."
+Dr. Steed. Dr. Epona Steed.
+{{https://files.catbox.moe/7u1nac.gif}}
+Can you believe that's not even the worst thing we're gonna be seeing today? Because I know what's coming and I still can't really believe it.
+The Wind-Runners are the noble prey animals, who divided themselves up into "Prove ourselves useful" (Horses) "Catch me if you can, suckers" (Deer, antelope, etc) and "You pick, boss" (Zebras, who represent duality). They're all lightly but powerfully built, and have the aura of coiled, nervous energy waiting to explode into flight. They're quick-witted, but tend to jump on the first idea they have and run with it, whether or not it's a good idea. They form strong ties to kin, human and animal, and tend to be rather insular and soft-spoken (until alarmed, in which case they're insanely loud). They also spend a lot of time in animal form with wild herds of horses or whatever their breed is, protecting them and mangling anybody who tries to take more than what they need from the herd.
+Wind-Runners are almost exclusively vegetarian or vegan, preferring their food to be bland and boring because they see it purely as fuel. They usually outrun or outfight natural predators, but do get killed and eaten a not-insignificant portion of the time, especially when the predator's another shapeshifter. They also lay traps for human hunters to kill them, especially ones who they view as 'cheating' by hunting in numbers with submachine guns. I must say though, I have no fucking idea who hunts with a goddamn submachine gun.
+The rest of the information is basically reiterations of stuff we already know, aside from Alpha Horses who protect the family circle and Alpha Horse Women who make most of the decisions.
+> Stereotypes\\  Man: For better or worse, our fates are intertwined. Yet until they learn better respect than what they have shown, we rush toward an abyss.\\  Mages: Capable of greatness, yet often blinded by their own splendor.\\  Vampires: Their death-stink sticks like shit to ragged hooves.\\  Werewolves: Wolves are wolves. We may share a fated dance, but they don’t always have to lead it.
+{{ https://files.catbox.moe/b4od8m.png }}
+Fabio here is one of the **Uchchaihshravi**. Since that's a hell of a mouthful (and apparently pronounced Ush-SHY-shrah-VEE), I'll be calling them the Sharp-Eared Ones, or just Ushies. According to this, Hindu myth has Uchchaishravas as a winged horse that Indra gave to man after chopping his wings off in order to create horses. Close enough, except Ushie didn't have wings, he just had seven heads. Seriously, look it up, the pictures are hilarious.
+Anyway, Ushies believe they got the original Ushie's wings and are its stewards, and are looking for ways to give them back to horses to give them their freedom to fly once more. They usually prefer to be their centaur Warform when among close associates and - wait a goddamn minute. Warform has murderous rage attached to it. Did you even think about that, author!? The first time Fabio decides to cut loose with a horse for legs he's probably gonna kill everybody he sees! {{https://files.catbox.moe/qj62yj.gif}}
+Anyway, the animal form for these guys is a larger-than-normal horse with that look equestrians know means this is one of those dick-ass horses who's all like "You try kicking my sides with those spurs on and I will thow you off and stomp your thighbones into Jello." I've actually met a horse like that, bastard was scary as all hell. Warform is, as you can see, a centaur, which means they get all the benefits of opposable thumbs and giant murder legs. They also apparently retain their human intelligence in this form as well, so they can use complex weapons and communicate. While this is kinda lame, the idea of centaur cavalry with M16s is pretty hilarious. Also, having your origin story be Indian myth and yet having your Warform be based on Greek myth is pretty weak, guys.
+Mechanically, they're actually kinda crappy compared to everyone else, until you remember the opposable thumbs in warform thing. They're extremely fast, can knock down opponents, and larger than normal, but that's about it.
+{{ https://files.catbox.moe/quqgv3.png }}
+I'm going out of order here so I can save the best (worst) for last. This is a **Takuskansa**. They're shapeshifting Injun shamans. No, really, that's about all the characterization they get. They apparently can cross the Gauntlet into the Shadow (the world of spirits) by running really fast, which has no mechanical representation. They also are mandated to have at least three dots in Empathy. Aside from that, they're basically faster, more fragile Ushies.
+A breed without a picture, **Flidaisin **are the deer-folk, seers and guardians of the hunted. They watch over their kin and protect them from "weekend warriors" (it's in quotes in the book too.) They usually come from "American mutts" or Native Americans in America, or the equivalents in other countries. Their animal forms are massive, tempting deer, with the stags as 14-point bucks and the does having prominent forehead bumps. A few are jet black or solid white, and these are usually the spirit-magicians. The Warform is a giant naked man or woman with a stag's head bristling with sharpened antlers. Many Flidaisin also pick up the Near-Man and Near-Beast forms, which are graceful, doe-eyed (Hurrrr) humans and giant murderous looking deer, respectively. Mechanically, they're fragile, fast, and have Striking Looks in human form.
+And now, we reach the one, the only...
+{{ https://files.catbox.moe/z0lhlo.png }}
+**Deerhoof Antlerdude** gets his writeup at last. Technically the real name for the breed are the **Alces**, Elken-Volk, or Horned Harbingers. Here's their backstory!
+> Long ago, it’s been said, the Horned God lay with the Great Earth Mother. Where his seed scattered, beasts sprang up with vast antlers like the Lord himself. Although their antlers could not span the sky as his did, they nevertheless challenged the trees to grow to ever-more luxuriant size. The hooves of these mighty beasts shook the grown, and where they struck, springs flowed and flowers grew. Such was the creative power of the Elken-volk that Man himself was both humbled and aroused. To capture some of that virility for himself, the bravest hunter stalked the largest elk. They fought until sunrise, shattering the forest as they fought, and when the Great Mother saw what had been done, she turned them both into a single beast and charged him to watch over Nature’s restoration.
+Yep, think we hit the creepy quota there. While real life mythology is full of stuff like this - Izanagi wanking the Japanese islands into existence, Enki jizzing the Tigris and Euphrates, etc. etc. - it's still very, very uncomfortable to imagine Phil Brucato - who put his nickname "Satyrblade" in the credits for fuck's sake - editing this. Also, there's another reason, but we'll get to that at the end.
+Anyway, all Alces are statuesque fertile sex god types who have an affinity for nature and spirits, but usually don't enter cities without a damn good reason. They take their time to decide on an action, but their word is bond once they do, unshakable and unstoppable. The animal form is a seven foot at the shoulder elk with a six-foot antler span, with does being slightly smaller with no horns. In Warform they grow to over eight feet of muscle, fur, nudity, and horns crackling with electricity. As for their society, they usually gather in groups of the same sex for company and protection, while mating is a "formal affair, wrapped in the rituals of age-old tribal custom." I only thank God they don't elaborate on that. Mechanically, they're insanely strong, tough, and fast, with their warform being one of the biggest in the book.
+And now for the part I know a few of you have been dreading as much as I have. Deerhoof Antlerdude's Shameful Secret, as you can see from above, is that he does not have a penis. At least, in the published book he doesn't. The artist saw fit to fix that on her Deviantart account.
+> ~xxsqueekbatxx Dec 6, 2008\\  Woohoo! awesome work. well shaded and well hung lol\\  \\  ~ShamanSoulStudios Dec 11, 2008\\  =) Thanks so much! The original to this didn't have the penis as it was for a book interior. After I read a comment that said, It looks like he has a tribble on his crotch, I knew I HAD to give him his manhood back. So far, everyone seems pleased with the results.
+{{https://files.catbox.moe/zt588c.gif}} [[http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs39/i/2008/341/a/d/Horned_God_by_ShamanSoulStudios.jpg|Behold, his dong the size of a coke can.]] {{https://files.catbox.moe/zt588c.gif}}
+What makes this knowledge even worse?
+[[http://shamansoulstudios.deviantart.com/gallery/7574534?offset=0|She has a bunch of My Little Satanic Pony fan art. I'm not even fucking kidding you here.]]
+So, in conclusion, I want to die.
+Next time: The Wing-Folk, which stunningly has a few kinda cool ideas.
+<WRAP rightalign>
+Previous: [[lb:no.nwod:15|Part XIII]] | **[[lb:no.in.nwod|Index]]** | Next: [[lb:no.nwod:17|Part XV]]
+</WRAP>